This year has felt like an Alice in Wonderland adventure but I like to call it a rebirth, many things have happened to me that has almost put my life at risk. I feel like I have been guarded by angels and taught serious life lessons about people and the world. I started the year loved up, trying to impress a boy, not focused on my passions or University and becoming sucked up into this fantasy world. Seeing life through rose tinted lenses, I was unhappy and I was lost and I think it was obvious.
I lost my sense of style and started to follow the 2012 Baroque trend by Dolce and Gabbana again because copying is sometimes a therapeutic way to rediscover yourself. Anyway being stuck on a course for 6 months that you don’t really enjoy almost felt like hell. When I’m not passionate about something I’m doing it shows within my style, my personality my body, everything. I didn’t bond very well with people on the course, I felt intimidated by all of them being female. I wanted a mixture of different people who express deep concepts within their work. Studying Surface Pattern I believe was far too tedious, not to say the course wasn’t great because I learnt a lot about craftsmanship and worked in the workshops e.t.c printing and stitching, but it was far to technical when I wanted to express contemporary and past issues of my life.
Anyway in February I can remember ranking high on the hot page on Lookbook with my 'I am the one who falls' look, It was fantastic to have a location to shoot regularly that tailored in with the theme of my present style. I love the majestic look of the wall with the hanging ivy, I really miss living in halls.
In March I was invited to the Meadham Kirchhoff show at London Fashion Week but sadly couldn’t make it was I was informed the night before. I was gifted a dress by the amazing Natanya Waybourne, which was divine! Although the beginning of the year was a terrible start for me, I wish I could have hit myself in the face and realised how miserable I was and how I should have got out of the situation much sooner as it was inevitable what was going to happen. Its quite painful to look back on the year and see the person you are now, you think who the hell was that, that doesn’t even sound like me, and I know I wouldn’t do anything like that if my head was screwed on!
In May I met Lana Del Rey and it wasn’t at all what I expected, perhaps my depressive state couldn’t enjoy it as much as I wanted too.
During June I forced myself to travel on a train journey to a Bristol meet up, I overcame my fear of trains! I met Paige, Steph, Sammy and Amy which was brilliant and I want to meet many more bloggers next year!
July came around I headed home for Summer, a much well needed rest after all the emotional turmoil. I retreated back to the comfort of mother nature, and bathed in the glorious golden rays. I worked with 'Little Mistress', and felt like such a princess wearing that dress, they are such beautiful company for evening dresses. I even had a shot at styling 'Puma' even though I don’t really like sports labels.
The weather was fantastic as I can remember and I relaxed by my pool with lots of yummy Summer foods and the comfort of my lovely dogs.
In August, the weather started to change, so I found it hard to take photos. I was in the midst of trying to get my hair to a lighter shade of brown, whenever my hair is black dark things seem to occur in my life. So here we have the orange days, the results of the lack of knowledge of bleach!
I received a letter from Jessica Celebre my spiritual fairy sister over in Canada, I met her through Lookbook and she is a very honest and dainty lady, the way she views the world through her photography is so beautiful and her delicate words inspired me to see the magic.
Birthday month Septemeber! I worked with Chictopia on a sponsored Cotton post, which was great I have wanted to work with them for such a long time and help them in anyway possible. I admire them for accepting all sorts of styles and creativity unlike Lookbook. Ahem
Meadham Kirchhoff SS14 show was live in the second week of September and it made me actually miss my orange hair! However I did start a Meadham Kirchhoff twitter fan page for the boys, as I feel I wanted to get to know more fans and obsess over them.
I started to reflect upon the things that happened and asked for redemption from nature, it watches over you constantly and will treat you the way you treat it. My look ‘ Redemption’ was a way of understanding that even when you mean no harm to the world and you’re a positive soul you can get sucked into the worlds of others, the negative energies of others, the demons who live amongst us trying to make us feel worthless, they use you and forget about you. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad person and that you’re a pushover, it means your far too good to even be associated with these people, learn from your mistakes and never fully trust in anyone and never believe in the idea of people you have in your head, always see them in realistic light, no one holds a godlike quality that can fix you or help you, you behold the power to fix yourself.
Anyways I finally moved into my new house in the City, it was so good to finally get a big room for all of my blogger clothes, an attic room as well I must blog about it its like a fairy den.
The end September I changed my course finally to Photography in the Arts and I was back on track.
In October I started to pick back up on my style, and being inspired by D&G New Byzantine collection. Never really understood why I was so interested in it really. I was i
n the middle of some really interesting art work and was focussed on photography I kind of ignored blogging
November, busy month to get all my work done for my first year photography project you can see everything work related over on my other blog, it’s a visual blog we use in Uni, but I think its relevant as I never want to hide any aspects of my creative life away from you guys.
I became obsessed with my lecturer and based a photography project around obsessions and this idea we hold in our heads of people, for example One Direction or Justin Bieber, these normal boys we feel that hold godlike qualities, a power over us that we can't explain but we are so infatuated with them. The use of the internet fuels this obsession as your almost linked to the laptop like an umbilical cord, stalking them on Twitter, we all become connected to something that fulfils our happiness temporarily.
I understood more about fan girling from Tavi and became the main inspiration for my project along with wise words from Duane Michals.
Decemeber, I was invited to Meadham Kirchhoff Fashion in Motion show at the V&A in London, It was amazing. Then I was an assistant/ stylist for a photoshoot with first year Surface Patten, working alongside, Photographer Ffion Peters. I took photos with friends for their projects and it was a very busy month, but travelling on a train to London by myself and meeting Ben and Ed was the highlight of my year. Oh and also meeting the Sassy Rosie. I saw Banks and the Weeknd live at Manchester, became inspired by Beyonce new album. Then realised this year has been Golden, I am honoured to have learnt so much about myself and literally felt like I've been born again and can finally see the truth amongst everything in life now.